Beneath the Grief

I hold on to grief

clinging to its floating wreckage

it keeps me from drowning

I'm afraid of losing her again

if I let go,

will she stay with me?

I'm afraid of depths —

will I drown again,

only to float back to grief?

I'm afraid of shame

if I move on,

will they remember her name?

I am not grief

I am not shame

I am not fear

if I can let go

I'll sink

beneath the grief

dissolving,

just empty space

drifting in empty space

here

there is only a sound —

a loving voice

singing her name.